Restless

Its been quite a while since I posted something.Lately I have felt the need to tall to someone but since there is no one around I thougt I write down what I need to say.Ive been doing my secret self improvement program for almost a year,man, almost a WHOLE year isolated from social life,the media and the world training to become the best version of me.Cant believe I hold out that long.And yet,I dont feel its enough.I feel restless.I feel as if I have to do more and more but how much is enough?Perhapd I have become impatient,perhapd everything is fine and my mind is just screwing with me.You know what is reallu strange though? I have contact only with 3 people,my very best friends or at least what is left of them and for some reason I dont understand,I sometimes think it would be better ifI completely disconnect from them.Strange huh?What kinda friend am I?I dont know,but i constantly feel the need to prove myself.I feel like Im not worthy and to prove myself I have to go through some kinda training (what Im actually doing) and become the heroic,perfect me and then I would offer value to them without taking value from them.But this doesnt seem right.My mind is playing with me,I shouldnt take it all that serious.Well time to get back to my program,after all I do want to become the best me,l.