School's out

Yesterday was my graduation and I must admit it was kimd of weird.Everything was okay until I got my certification.The grade's were all fine that wasn't the problem but I felt like I didnt really graduate at all! Everyone kept talking about the beginning of their new lifes but I felt like that didnt apply to me.I disappeared yesterday like the phantom I am.Just when nobody was watching I left.At first I was very confused and didn't know why I just without saying good bye to everybody,it happened almost automatically.Then later,I had an idea why.I believe it was because I am in a different reality than they are.Look at me,the next day after my "graduation" I woke up at 6 a.m and started going through my courses.It makes sense.My graduation isnt over yet.My true lesson is still waiting ahead.

Thank you for this new beautiful day

What I do must stay a secret.I must cover it with lies
and stories.The truth must be hidden.When the project hascbeen completed,it has to appear as nothing major ever happened.The results will be big and magnificent but the cause for them have to stay hidden.In the end you were right,I have to learn how to be a better liar if I want the truth to stay hidden.
Its better this way,because people distract.I dont want to deal with opinions or arguments.All that I want it to learn and make progress at my own pace and with my own will.Before I can be bold and dominant I want to surround myself fully with that what gives me these qualities and stay hidden.So remember: the mouth stays closed.

I must develop to character traits: Love and Gratitude

Prove

Alright it is finally here.My experiment has been a success.At first I wasnt sure if that power really exists but now I know it for sure.Today I transmuted desire 2 into its physical equivelant.I turned  an image into a reality and it feels so good.Holding it in my hand,everything I read and studied finally showed outstanding results.The power is mine and from here on I will  cultivate it even more!All my phantasies are but thought away from me,today is mine!

Today is the best day ever!

I must be more disceplined.No one's here but me,so the success of this operation depends entirely on me.

Money

The previous weeks I realized how beautiful money is.It is much more than just money.Money is freedom,independence,possibility.Money is good,for all good things it can do.In our society,money seems to have a superficial value often times.We use words  such "capitalism" and critizise rich people but in reality,the desire to be rich is the one of the most noble desires.Without money,we can never fully express ourself.I have seen it myself.The joy and freedom it can bring and the tools to create art.From this day on, I make it my objective to increase my income.I want to travel and see friends far away and buy tools  to express myself.Money is a good thing to have for the good things it can do.Freedom,independence and possibility.The desire for money is the desire of life seeking expression.

Creator

Who is the creator?Most of us think that "God" created the world and rules all of us.Many of us keep waiting that god saves them and grants all their wishes.I always hated this idea.Why do I bring this up today?My dad wanted me to join his religion this morning,but I just laughed at him and refused.I know  the truth.That what really creates world.There is no god.Its just a lie social conditooning brought upon us.Its nobodys fault though.Thats just what most social conditioning does with us,deceives us.I found the truth,the key to life,hidden in a 100 years old book.This book changed me forever.It freed me.The truth is...WE  are the creator.WE have the creative power and desogn our world how we want it to be.Sounds not reslistic does it?Soon I will show the world what I can do with this "new" power.I will not bow to a lie social conditioning made up because I am the creator of my world!Now I learn how to wield this power and with It can soar into the skies and fly past all limits !

Random idea

Today I had a random but interesting idea.Ive been always a fan of those youtube film teams like teambay,wongfu production etc.After being inspired by them I started studying film editing,photography and animation.Ive been thinking about what to do with this knowledge and today I had a great idea.Along project fantom,I will start another project.I want to create short movies and the likes next to my music, but unlike teambay for example,my videos wont have much to with me.Instead of forming a film team,I will be a free lancer.I will service to other people.They come to me with their talents and ideas and I will lend them my creative power.I will record,edit and more.Together we create beautiful videos.By doing this I get to work with many people and create different projects without any strings attached.That will be a lot of fun!

Two

I want to see you two.I wish you were closer to me.I want to hug you both,hear you talk,laugh and see your pretty faces.Why cany you two be here?It would be so great if we could see each other every day.Just imagine it!We would have the best time ever.I will stay with the two of you.We stay together.Thank you for helping me through hard times.I will give you just as much as you gave.We may be physically apart but our hearts are connected.I am a part of you two and you two are a part of me.Remember no matter what happens,I will always love you two.

Do not waste one moment in regret,for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself

Live today and only today

Value

During my training I studied social dynamics, being human I guess I just wanted to be able to make friends.I learned a lot about human nature and how to wield social power.Thinking back,I broke so many rules of handling people,I have really no idea how could walk through life so blind and ignorant.No wonder I was such a social failure.What a fool I was.But eventually  I learned my lesson.I understand now why I hard such a hard time back in the day.How could I expect to have friends when I was nothing but a needy value taker?I hardly gave love,so I hardly got it back.When I start over,I will be value offering.I will give to people and never put myself before others.Remember: the hungry doesnt get fed.

Disgrace

You know what really makes me tick?What really drives me nuts?Nothing that happens in the outside world.What really makes me mad,is how I react to unpleasant events.Often times I find myself reacting just like my old self.I hate that.I spend 6 months to practice self control and self mastery and what do I do?I get mad only because I might loose my job.So stupid.Its just so stupid!I got angry?Me?Im not supposed to feel such emotion!Its as if I was ignoring all the glorious lessons from my teachers.They said it over and over again.This emotion has no use.It is the result of me, resisting the flow.I just should have accept it and forgot about it in 5 minutes.Thats how they taught.Accept what cannot be changed.Dont cry over spillled milk.But no,I resist.Live is too short to feel angry even for one minute.I should act like a man and not like a little boy.Im sorry my teachers,I will stop resisting and complaining.I have no right to.

What you cant left behind

I have been thinking lately about the people I left behind 6 months ago. As I‘m writing this I‘m looking at the two straps attached to my phone.Both of them are specials.Both are the blue version of another pink counterpart.One of those counterparts is in posession of one of the people I left behind.I wonder if she is alright.I also wonder if she forgot about me.Back then I was just too weak.I hated myself too much to look into the eyes of my former friends, so I ran away.Leaving everybody behind just to run away from myself.To my surprise, I found out that there are people who actually...miss me.I was shocked , when I ran away back then,I was so convinced that I was unloved and unwanted and that nobody would care about me.I was wrong.I had friends.I was loved.But I was too blind to see it and pushed them away.I would like to return to them but I cant.I‘ve gone too far,trained too much,gave up too much to stop now.I have to finish this.I ran away as a weakling,but I will come back as a hero and then I can be a true friend.For the friends I had,the friends I have and the friends I havent met yet.I want to be the best me.

End.of the day

Today ends the first day of my new self developent program.After carefully watching my every move, I found out that although I was already working on myself for half a year,I still have many negative character traits. I found that I have 18 bad habits.18! There is a lot of work that I have to mh?The next 18 weeks I will battle each of my bad habits and stomp them into the ground.Call me a self developement junkie.

I became so spoiled that I forgot to appriciate the things around me.I have to cultivate gratitude.

No matter how far we are apart, our bond cannot be cut

today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

End of the year

I have been struggeling lately about the lenght of my training.When is the right time to end it?I have been thinking about that for a long time.When have I learned enough?When has my character developed enough?When is my training complete?There is no one who can tell me that,so I have to decide for the right date myself.It will end where it began.The end of the last year was the end of my old life,so this year's end will be the beginning of my new life.I have about 6 months left.I will give everything I got, every day until I am the person I always wanted to be.

Yesterday is but a dream,tommorow is just a vision.But every today well lived is a yesterday of happyness and a tomorrow of hope