Disgrace

You know what really makes me tick?What really drives me nuts?Nothing that happens in the outside world.What really makes me mad,is how I react to unpleasant events.Often times I find myself reacting just like my old self.I hate that.I spend 6 months to practice self control and self mastery and what do I do?I get mad only because I might loose my job.So stupid.Its just so stupid!I got angry?Me?Im not supposed to feel such emotion!Its as if I was ignoring all the glorious lessons from my teachers.They said it over and over again.This emotion has no use.It is the result of me, resisting the flow.I just should have accept it and forgot about it in 5 minutes.Thats how they taught.Accept what cannot be changed.Dont cry over spillled milk.But no,I resist.Live is too short to feel angry even for one minute.I should act like a man and not like a little boy.Im sorry my teachers,I will stop resisting and complaining.I have no right to.